The End

I racked my brain for hours last night trying to come up with a way to verbalize how I feel. But the only thing I could come up with was, “I can’t believe I’m at the airport.”

I am now sitting on an airbus 380, beside my 700 other fellow fliers, watching the hot-pink sun burn through the horizon. I am 8 hours from my destination, and 13 hours from my departure. 

Where did the time go? 

It’s so strange looking back and thinking about all I’ve done in these past five months. I still can’t be grateful enough that I was given this opportunity. 

I think what I am most scared for upon my return home, is the question, “How was Thailand?” Because I honestly don’t know where I would start, or how I would ever stop. 

Looking back it’s easy to say that I will miss the adventure. I will miss hiking to the local waterfall and overlooking the city from the side of the mountain. I will miss hopping into song taos with my USAC companions and sightseeing temples in and around Chiang Mai. I will miss exploring the different parts of Thailand, from the peaceful and culture-rich Chiang Mai, to the chaotic, sleepless Bangkok, to the serene and paradisal southern islands. And I will miss the ability to tour the neighboring countries just a bus ride away. Well... maybe I won’t mind living without the 12+ hours in one seat, stopping at the most unbearable “toilets” I have ever experienced in my life, being herded around like cattle from one vehicle to the next, “bus rides” to which I refer... but it’s all part of the journey. 

I came to Thailand for the rainforests. I came for the waterfalls, the temples, the wildlife, the mountains. I came to explore a foreign land and to see a different side of the world. But what I found was something I wasn’t looking for. 

I thought that seeing all those cool landmarks and exploring all those new places was going to be the most memorable part of my journey. And yes, it was memorable. But the places weren’t what made this experience real. 

What I’m going to miss the most, what truly shaped this experience and made it into what it was, was the people. 

I’m going to miss this culture - a culture that is unique to only this part of the world. I will find other waterfalls and I will go on other hikes, but I will never be surrounded by the same smiling faces as I did in here in Asia.

I’m going to miss the little things that make Thailand, Thailand. 

Like walking into the 711 and seeing a stray dog sleeping next to the canned goods. Or stumbling over little children who are curled up in a blanket watching movies on the floor of their mothers’ clothing shop. Or bargaining with the woman selling knock-off Tiffany’s bracelets at the night market. Her: “Look! Bracelet, good price for you!” Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t wear bracelets.” Her: “How much you pay!?” ...It didn’t always go so well.

I’m going to miss watching the street vendors put out food for the stray dogs. I’m going to miss talking to Fon about how she followed her dream to open her own restaurant. I’m even going to miss the guy at the trendy market who laughed at me when I couldn’t fit into the XL jean shorts... or maybe he was laughing with me.  

The point is, I can go to other parts of the world and I can seek other adventures. But I will never find the same experience I found in Thailand. 

Because it was the people who made it real. It was the culture that defined my lifestyle. 

They say happiness is only real when shared. 

And I will forever have a place in my heart for the happiness I found here in Thailand.

A Brief Synopses

Things I will Miss About Thailand

1. Penny’s - Fon, Penny, Laan, & the stir-fried morning glory
2. Stray dogs on the streets, on campus, in convenient stores, in class, etc.
3. Street food - $1 sushi, waffles, juice!
4. Mango sticky rice
5. Song Taos 
6. Kafe
7. Chilli sauce 
8. My mountainside view
9. Hiking, rafting, waterfalls, rainforests
10. 711 toasties and sticky rice burgers 
11. “Lot day may kha”-ing 
12. Hour long massages for under $10
13. Motorbiking
14. Night markets
15. Wine nights and beer buffets
16. Zoe in Yellow
17. Hill Tribe villages (puppies and babies)
18. Wild monkeys 
19. Chaa yen and Thai iced coffees 

Things I will Not Miss

1. Squatters
2. Smog
3. Getting robbed
4. Replacing cameras
5. Cockroaches 
6. The bottoms of my feet being black every day
7. Rock hard beds
8. The smell of the sewer
9. The fear of clogging toilets
10. Ethernet cords

Things I am Looking Forward to

1. Sammy
2. Rockwood 
3. Grocery shopping, knowing what food is when I buy it, & COOKING
4. Pico wraps from Sundance, sushi from Lucky Buddha, & wings from Candlelight - the 3 BEST places to eat in my home town
5. Bathrooms with toilet paper, toilet seats, & soap =)
6. Granola for breakfast (not that fried pork wasn’t good or anything)
7. My Mom’s smoothies
8. Driving

Be a Tourist in Your Own Country

As my time here winds down, I continue to think more and more about returning home. I’m excited, yes, but I am also skeptical. 

What’s it gonna be like when I recognize all the faces I see around my town? What’s it gonna be like when I know how to get around the area? What’s it gonna be like when I know what the food tastes like before I try it?

The thing that makes travel so exciting is the unfamiliarity. Everything is new, everything is exciting, everything is an opportunity to learn.

Or is that just a perception? 

When I walk to class in the morning, I am excited by the flowers, the trees, the birds. I take out my camera to capture the beauty of the sky during sunset. I spark up a conversation with the person next to me at the restaurant. 

But what I’ve started to realize is that the value I attribute to all that I do here in Asia is a product of my perspective. 

In America, there are flowers. There are trees. There are birds. There is a beautiful sky at sunset, and there is a stranger beside me in the restaurant. 

But at home, I let those things go unnoticed. I diagnose them as “familiar” before I examine their true value. I rarely take that extra moment to appreciate what’s before me because I subconsciously assume it will still be there tomorrow... I will still be there tomorrow. 

What if I lived like I was a tourist in my own country?

What if I viewed my town like I view Chiang Mai - as a city that is my home, but only temporarily. After all, our lives are impermanent, and consequently so are our surroundings and the ability to experience it all at full value.  

I’m apprehensive about going home because I’m afraid I’ll be bored. I’m afraid I will run out of new things to do and new people to meet. 

But what I’ve decided, is that if I live every day like I am a tourist in my own country, I will never run out of new things to do. I will never run out of new people to meet. And I bet I will come to appreciate the world around me much more than I had before. 

The world can be as big or as small as we want depending on how we choose to see it.